Monday, March 30, 2009

Playing Catch....up

Howdy family and friends! I have had two, count 'em two requests for some updates on the blog. So, I succumb to my fan base!

Today is March 30th and it has been about 3 weeks since that last entry. I now am at a 80 lb. reduction in force (translated : fat) status and continue to be nice to my scale. This is utterly amazing to me. It has not been without it's challenges, but still the same, I liken it to 3 full bags of cat litter and a small bowling ball... hmmm not to appetizing but very visual. This journey is so interesting to me. I don't quite have the body image down, but everyone at work is commenting (really) so today I felt sort of ...well... slender. I am shopping for clothes on a limited basis, I just gave away 3 large black bags of clothes to Goodwill, because I know that this too shall pass and I can't justify spending a lot of $$ on something I will shrink from. I feel good. I am able to move more freely and I even put air in the tires of my bike in anticipation of a tour down on East Cliff Drive, waves crashing, salt air and me.

David and I planted "upside down" tomato plants Saturday and today they look very ill. Dry leaves and dark stems. Boo. We planted in these contraptions we bought online... "Topsy Turvey Tomato" bags. We had other incentives for purchasing them, other than the "fad" quota. We have terrible soil, bugs and gophers who truly believe that they were here first and claim all rights to any Terra. So, why not hang the plants from the rafters and water from above? Sounded good to me. I am nervous now though as I viewed and very new plants, choked for nourishment... So we watered again tonight and hopeful we can pull this one out. Of course there is always the "money back guarantee" from OSH on any plants you buy that don't make it. Tomorrow we plant "pickle" cucumbers, at least 8 hills! The directions say that you can harvest the cukes at 4 weeks and make sweet pickles or wait until 8 weeks and make dill ones! David was amazed that they are one in the same plant! City boys... I tell ya!

Update on Mom. Once again, she defies any limits people put on her! On February 15th, she fell. Diagnosis: Terminal brain hemorrhage on right side. Call Hospice. March 30th? - She is eating regular food vs. puree and thickened liquids. Favorite is still chocolate ice cream. Up and dressed for TV time with everyone else. Who knew? The only bad thing is she is still battling an eye infection that looks and according to her, is very painful. Itchy and red eyes that at times are swollen shut. Everyday I apply cool compresses, and the doctors continue to be baffled about what it is. The eye doc says, viral conjunctivitis gave her antibiotics which gave her a rash everywhere else, ugh! First, warm compresses and now cool ones. Only one physical visit from a doctor, so who knows? She is hanging in there and that is fine with me. I am reading "The Count of Monte Cristo" to her and she seems to enjoy the story. She at one time was a "reader" for Books for the Blind. She recorded several math books and a few English grammar ones. She started out as a "proof reader" in that she followed the reader as they were recording and if they made a mistake, she was to alert the technician, who would stop and start over again. These books have to be exact so there is no room for making it up on the spur... no spontaneity. She really wanted to be the main "reader", and when she finally made it, was so proud. She did have a wonderful speaking voice.

Well, I did finally get my date for departure from work. October 1. This may change as the projects are fulfilled and cleaned up. What is next? Don't know. My inclination is to run out and grab anything, but I was talking with a former HR boss and she really encouraged me to go back to school and pursue a RN license. I don't know. I just don't do school very well and memorization is a real stumbling block for me.. all that anatomy, biology, chemistry... this old gray matter has absorbed a lot, don't know if there is room for anything as complicated as that. We will see, but meantime, I am plugging away and trusting the Lord. Not a bad plan.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Journey of a 1000 miles


Well, as the story goes, there will be updates on the journey.
My updates are numbered but not dead.
Thus far, I have shed (losing is such an ambiguous word) 70 pounds of my former self. I am feeling more in tune with my relationship with food. I don’t hate the prospect of eating now, and that is a big step. I am able to eat a whole egg (with cheese no less!) and seems to be an earmark in my world. Earmarks… hmm.. getting bad press lately, but they do chronicle the way. Another first, is being able to climb 6 flights of stairs to my office every morning. I admit I was forced into the project about a month ago, when the power went out in the building and in order to get to my desk, I had to hike. But, like the whole journey thus far, it was a growing (and hopefully shrinking) experience. I still have issues with the protein count, but that is getting better.
My reference to death above should be tongue in cheek, but it actually hits closer to home than that. Early February, my mom took a fall in the living room of her place and upon ER analyses, and a CAT scan, we discovered she has a cerebral hemorrhage on the right side of her brain. Not good news. It is terminal, as most of life is. I was sort of in a dream state when they mentioned Hospice, and skilled care nursing homes. Sarah (owner of Maple House) insisted that she come back and her staff would take care of Mom. Angels have a way of visiting us when we need them.
So, now every day I go to Maple House and spend time with my bed ridden mother, trying to anticipate her needs. She is on a morphine gel applied to her wrists (minor stroke means she has trouble swallowing) every 4 hours. This seems to relieve any discomfort she might have. Her spirits are OK. I put my headset to her ear so she can talk to my brothers and aunt. We talk about dying. She said, "Well, if you know what is right and wrong and live your life the way you should, why would you be afraid of dying?" Good point mom. Still teaching after all these years. The other day, she asked me who the lady was sitting next to me. WHAT lady? Well, the lady that visits her and she is so nice… hmm. I asked her what she looked like, to which she said, "well my eyesight is not so good, and so I can’t tell". Ok. Little moments of shifting to the other side. Like birth, some of us come in with a bang and go out the same way. While others, take their time (see 36 hour labors) with their entrances and exits.
Other than that, the journey continues. Sightseeing has never been so good.